Friday's on my mind.
Gee I live such a thriling life! Today I have a day off from my oh-so-thrilling make do job in fashion retail. And what do I have on the agenda? Perhaps a luxurious day being pampered in a day spa? Or serial catch ups with arty friends, sipping chai and ruminating on the finer things. A day at Bondi Beach, you suggest! Oh you funny bugger you! Of course, it's everyone's favourite - a trip to the dentist!
Not that I begrudge visiting the dentist I mean it's one of those self maintenance thingys you have to do. I like to think of it as visiting a friend I haven't seen in a while. Perhaps a somewhat eccentric friend who likes to stick their fingers in my mouth, but a friend - sort of. An expensive sort of friend. OK who's kidding themselves! I'm paying money to someone I don't know whose probably going to cause me pain and leave me bleeding afterwards! Unfortunately, as I am a vanilla dinosaur, this prospect doesn't exactly give me frissons in anticipation.
The appointment is at 10.40am.
And next on the agenda? A follow up appointment with the dental hygenist! That's right! Ladies and gentlemen! Why pay for one visit, when you can have two for twice the price! Double the fun, you say! Hmm. I did visit a dungeon once- I mean, you have to do it. I was lucky at the time as a friend had just revealed that she was working as a dominatrix, so she snuck me in for free. I really couldn't see the point of it at all. I mean, some of the costumes where nice in a gothica sort of way - but hardly convenient day wear and a tad uncomfortable. A leather harness with tatas akimbo might cause comment at the local deli. But what really grabbed my attention was that no-one looked happy. It was positively funereal! Oh there was lot's of moaning and groaning - I mean we're talking adult entertainment here! I whispered to my shinny leather clad (and now alarmingly transformed) friend in an appalling stage whisper "What are they all doing here?" To which she brusquely replied (in character I think) "Having fun." "Oh! - and they're paying for it?" "Yes", she hissed, "they're paying A LOT for it!"
I like to keep as quite as possible on the dentist's chair. Just in case, you know! They might get the wrong idea.
Not that I begrudge visiting the dentist I mean it's one of those self maintenance thingys you have to do. I like to think of it as visiting a friend I haven't seen in a while. Perhaps a somewhat eccentric friend who likes to stick their fingers in my mouth, but a friend - sort of. An expensive sort of friend. OK who's kidding themselves! I'm paying money to someone I don't know whose probably going to cause me pain and leave me bleeding afterwards! Unfortunately, as I am a vanilla dinosaur, this prospect doesn't exactly give me frissons in anticipation.
The appointment is at 10.40am.
And next on the agenda? A follow up appointment with the dental hygenist! That's right! Ladies and gentlemen! Why pay for one visit, when you can have two for twice the price! Double the fun, you say! Hmm. I did visit a dungeon once- I mean, you have to do it. I was lucky at the time as a friend had just revealed that she was working as a dominatrix, so she snuck me in for free. I really couldn't see the point of it at all. I mean, some of the costumes where nice in a gothica sort of way - but hardly convenient day wear and a tad uncomfortable. A leather harness with tatas akimbo might cause comment at the local deli. But what really grabbed my attention was that no-one looked happy. It was positively funereal! Oh there was lot's of moaning and groaning - I mean we're talking adult entertainment here! I whispered to my shinny leather clad (and now alarmingly transformed) friend in an appalling stage whisper "What are they all doing here?" To which she brusquely replied (in character I think) "Having fun." "Oh! - and they're paying for it?" "Yes", she hissed, "they're paying A LOT for it!"
I like to keep as quite as possible on the dentist's chair. Just in case, you know! They might get the wrong idea.
posted by Van Dino at 8:06 am
3 Comments:
You had me at "dominatrix"
Boobs! Spindleshanks - surely you haven't been in the UK that long! Although, come to think of it - tatas may be an americanism.
I think you mean taters, in which case the only question is kippflers or dutch creams?
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